


The Orange Bear

by indigo_inks



Category: Original Work
Genre: Cryptozoology, Deception, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-23 22:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20896781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_inks/pseuds/indigo_inks
Summary: “But how can you be certain that these so-called ‘Orange Bear’ sightings aren’t justUrsus arctosbrown bears? Or maybeUrsus americanuscinnamon bears?” asked Respected Wildlife Blogger.





	The Orange Bear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nununununu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nununununu/gifts).

“But how can you be certain that these so-called ‘Orange Bear’ sightings aren’t just _Ursus arctos_ brown bears? Or maybe _Ursus americanus_ cinnamon bears?” asked Respected Wildlife Blogger. Although he was recording an audio of their conversation for posterity, his fingers were also poised at the ready over his smartphone screen keyboard to take additional contextual notes.

Lyle laughed and rolled his eyes. “You’ve no idea how often I’ve received that question. I have a doctorate in Cryptozoology, and I have spent over thirty-five years stalking the Orange Bear across North America. Don’t you think I can tell the difference between bear species?”

Respected Wildlife Blogger’s knitted brows and slight frown suggested that on the balance the answer was probably _no_.

“Fortunately for you, though, you don’t just have to take my word for it because I have _proof_.” Lyle took a sandwich-sized Ziploc bag out of his pocket. In it was a frizzy hunk of extremely orange fur. “Does that look like any bear fur you’ve ever seen before?”

Respected Wildlife Blogger took the bag and held it up to the light. “Okay, this doesn’t look like bear fur, no.” He paused, leaning back into his seat and sighing loudly. “What it _does_ look a whole heck of a lot like is fur from a white-tailed deer, which is about as far from a cryptid as any large animal in Eastern North America gets.”

“You insult my intelligence!” gasped Lyle with exaggerated outrage.

“Uh, well.” Respected Wildlife Blogger was already disengaging from this conversation. He’d totally lost interest upon seeing Lyle’s “best” Orange Bear evidence for himself. “You wouldn’t mind if I had this tested for DNA, would you?”

“Not at all,” said Lyle, “but I already had it tested myself and the results were inconclusive.”

Respected Wildlife Blogger just shrugged. “We’ll see. Many thanks for your time. I’ll be in touch.”

* * *

Lyle outside his front door and waved until Respected Wildlife Blogger had driven out of sight. Once he was sure he was gone, he went back inside and headed straight to his back door. He opened the door and called out, “All clear, Winny-bear! Time for dinner!”

A pause, and then the legendary Orange Bear emerged from behind a nearby bush and lumbered toward Lyle. When she got close enough, he reached out and tickled her behind her brilliant orange-furred ears.

“That should throw them off your scent for a while, but please be more careful about being spotted next time,” said Lyle. “Oh and thanks for that deer fur, by the way – it really came in handy.”

“You’re welcome,” said Winny-bear.


End file.
